Blizzard

So Ready for Spring

Hello, I am re-posting Part 1 of So Ready for Spring to go along with Part 2 which I just posted a few minutes ago so you can read both straight through if you like 🙂

Plow the Neighbor’s Driveway, Please. Don’t Worry About Us

A winter long ago started as Monday was winding down and the winter weather was winding up.  Snow and lots of it is headed our way.  I asked Hubby to please salt the roads tonight and again in the morning.   Well, by early evening school was already cancelled.  We had a ton of snow with more to come.  So, I asked Hubby to plow first and then salt.  He grumbled but he suited up to plow.   He went down the hill to plow and disappeared. I went out to check on him and couldn’t find him.  I was just about to go looking for him when I saw his headlights coming up the road.  He had driven the quad with a plow on the front while not wearing a helmet down the driveway, down the main road and across to a side street to plow Softball Dad and Softball Mom’s driveway.  Softball Dad is one of the softball coaches and Softball Mom his wife.  I guess he wanted to score some major brownie points to ensure that Sweetie gets on the good softball team again this year and of course, to make himself look good.  It didn’t occur to him to just plow our road so I could safely transport Sweetie to and from the bus stop and get myself safely to my bus stop. Did I mention that our driveway is a mile long and uphill both ways? Too bad he chose to do their driveway first.  The quad only had so much life left in it and we didn’t know that until the snow hit…

QUADruple the Problem

I beg Hubby to please, please, please plow and salt while most of the snow is slushy because it is freezing fast.  So he grudgingly stomps out to plow.  A few minutes later I decided to finally have that cigarette had been wanting.  I’m outside delightfully puffing away when I notice Hubby walking up the hill.  The quad conked out.  We had just had it repaired and this is, you guessed it, day 31 of the 30 day warranty!!!  The quad is stuck right smack dab in the middle of the road on one of the hills.  We can’t leave it there, someone will hit it if they are stupid enough to be driving on a night like this.   Hubby asks me to tow the quad up the hill with my truck.  Heck, I’ll give you my keys.  Why do I have to do it?

Saftey First?

We slide down the hill in the truck and position it in front of the broken down heap of a quad. Hubby hooks up the tow strap then proceeds to sit on the quad and tells me to drive up the hill.   IS HE NUTS?  What if I start to slide backwards on the ice, what should I do?  Is it safe to ride on that thing while being towed?  Won’t it just follow if you drive the truck up the hill sitting in the cab?  I could use some instruction so I don’t accidentally kill you.  So I reiterate, “WHAT DO I DO IF I START TO SLIDE BACKWARDS TOWARD YOU????!!!!”  Accidentally kill him?  He then speaks the most eloquent words of wisdom that I ever heard…’just keep driving up the hill’. No, now it will be on purpose with a snow shovel slapped upside his head!

I’m trembling as I put the truck in 4-wheel and start to drive up the hill.  Theoretically, if I keep the speed steady, not too slow, not too fast I should be able to get up the whole hill without sliding into him or knocking him off the quad.  My knees are knocking my knuckles are white but I’m doing it.  I make it all the way into the driveway.  I hurry to put the truck in park and jump out the door to see if Hubby is still there.  Yes, he did not fall off.  He says, hey come here and help me.  I just realized that while the truck is in the driveway, the quad is still on the downhill side of it.  The tow strap was too long.  So I figured I’ll just drive right through the garden so I can get it up the rest of the way.  The garden fence was destroyed when the second load of manure was delivered this fall (my birthday present, not to be confused by the first load of manure which was my mothers’ day present, he didn’t learn the first time, a story coming soon)!  So no problem.

1391641777017

Slow and steady up the hill…

A Better Idea

Of course, Hubby has a better idea.  His ideas are so much brighter than mine.  He wants me to push the quad the rest of the way. Am I the only one to see that this won’t work, we’re on ICE! But like a dutiful wife, I do it.  Or, at least I attempt it. My feet are sliding in all different directions. How did he think this was going to work?  Plan B.  I am now supposed to back the truck up closer to the quad, I can’t reiterate enough, ON ICE!  Won’t that make it go further down the hill?  Oh no, of course not.  Hubby undid the tow strap and is holding one end.  Theoretically, as I back up, he can take up the slack in the tow strap and make it shorter so I can pull it all the way into the driveway.  I’m in full blown panic attack by now. and the rest of the night is a blur.  I did see the quad in the driveway the next morning and Hubby was unscathed.  I can’t help but think that if he did our driveway first, it would have gotten clean before the quad broke and thus would have been able to avoid Thursday and Friday’s experiences…

Stay tuned!

Thank you Friends for reading my blog posts. I hope you enjoyed this one. It does have a part 2 which I will be posting in the next day or two so keep watching for it. Yes it can get worse and it does get funnier. Please leave your comments, likes or dislikes using the buttons below. Also, please sign up to follow me by email so you won’t miss a single story. Have a great day. Enjoy yourself with love, joy and laughter always.

Lea

Snow Job

WIN_20170314_17_48_26_Pro

Where’s the snow?

The Blizzard of 2017

Where’s the snow? The weather forecast called for a nasty Nor’easter dumping 8 inches of snow by this afternoon. I’m stocked on milk, toilet paper and bread, which I’m now feeding to the birds. Look, no snow (secretly, thank God, I hate snow!)!

 

Blizzard of ’93

In lieu of the fierce snowstorm we were supposed to get today, I thought I would recount a wicked snowstorm we did get some time ago and the antics we did to cope with it.

Some of you may remember the Blizzard of 1993. It started late on a Friday night and we were well prepared. Warned in advance by meteorologists who got it right, my new husband and I were invited to spend the snowy weekend holed-up at my sister in law’s mobile home with her friends from down the street and a younger cousin. It would be a weekend snow party.

My hubby and I stopped after work and bought snacks and liquid refreshments for the weekend as did the others. We all settled in for movies, games, merriment and to let it snow! And snow it did. I hadn’t seen snow come down like that since, hmmm, without giving my age away, sometime earlier when school was cancelled for a week. All the kids from the neighborhood had a grand ole time sled riding on the streets for days.

Math Whiz

But this one would only last the weekend and as adults we were going to make the best of it in a more adult manner, though we were just barely adults. As the snow piled up, we dug in our heels and enjoyed the warmth of my sister in law’s spacious mobile home and played games, drank margaritas and enjoyed our silliness. My hubby’s younger cousin was there. She was still in high school. She did a few shots of tequila and decided not to do her Trigonometry homework. I sensed it wasn’t her first time drinking. She did shots like a pro, I think she was more experienced than I.  (I did not encourage this delinquency of a minor. I had something to say about it then a barrage of beer cans flew at me.) Anyway her homework was on the counter and after having a margarita and my inhibitions lowered, I found the homework quite easy to do. I was actually solving those problems in my head. I guess my SAT scores were correct, I scored exceptionally high in math and science although I did not do well with trigonometry in high school. So I finished her homework for her because I found it so much fun. Oh, what alcohol can do to a person! It turns a nerd into a super nerd! No wonder I never got invited to parties, I might do your homework instead of making out with you!

WIN_20170314_15_20_07_Pro

Margarita and math, easy-peasy

Snowed In and Lazy

We woke up Saturday morning to three feet of snow. We were completely snowed in. Our cars were buried, we weren’t going anywhere. You couldn’t tell the difference between the yards and the street. Our plans were, after a hearty breakfast, to dig out the cars and then the guys would watch some sports on TV. The guys decided to skip the digging out of the cars. We couldn’t get them off their butts for anything. The ladies were cleaning up the breakfast dishes after slaving over the stove all morning and we were beginning to get annoyed. We couldn’t think of any way to get the men to move.

Rescued?

Suddenly there was a faint knock on the door. An old man was there asking if someone could shovel his driveway. By then it was late afternoon and the men had already cracked their beers and planted themselves. They said no way. But the old man pitifully asked again. My brother in law, not always tactful, said he would get rid of him. We told him to be kind and gentle. He had a brief quiet conversation with the old man, we were straining to hear what they were talking about.

The old man thanked him and trudged toward his home. My brother in law had a quick caucus with my hubby and the other man. Like Dasher, Dancer and Prancer, they leapt off the couch, put on their snow clothes, all grabbed shovels and dashed away, dashed away, dashed away all the way to the far end of the street!

 

“What changed your minds?” we exclaimed as they ran out of sight up the street and to the old man’s house? They called back, “His roommate has to go to work.” So what? Where could an old person work that anyone could actually get to in all this snow and why would anyone want to go out in it?

They proceeded to shovel the old man’s driveway in no time flat. We looked out the window and noticed they picked up a few more men on the way back and started shoveling the street. Calls for snow blowers were heard by all. Baffling.

We couldn’t take the suspense anymore, the ladies bundled up and went out and demanded to know what this sudden burst of humanity was all about. It turns out the old man’s ROOMMATE is a STRIPPER and she has a stripping gig tonight that she absolutely must get to. Not only that, rumors of free lap dances were rumbling through the man crowd if the men could get her out. They shoveled, by hand all the way from their mobile home to the main road, it had to be more than a mile.

Well we knew when we were beat, we dug out our own cars ourselves as the men returned exhausted but happy that they contributed to society. HA! We came back inside frozen to the bone, covered with snow, but got our cars dug out.  The guys thanked us and said they thought of taking a ride. We knew they were thinking of following the old man and the stripper to the strip club. Not a good idea with three wives holding shovels.  They said they’d settle for us cooking them a hot dinner. Exhausted, freezing and still holding shovels we explained why that wasn’t happening. We did have a compromise.

WIN_20170314_16_37_03_Pro

Oh no your’re not!

We told them they’d have to give us lap dances for us to cook!

WIN_20170314_17_13_30_Pro

Come here baby, make mama happy!

We all ate potato chips for dinner!

Thank you friends for reading my post, please follow me by email so I can send you my newsletter, many are following anonymously…you can change that if you wish by clicking on the contact button and filling in your information or by clicking on the “Follow by email” button. I wouldn’t want you to miss anything. As always, I welcome your comments, please comment or like on my blog page, make sure you are logged in to whatever site you are reading me on or if asked, fill in your email and name (I won’t share it). Until next week, I wish you joy, happiness and lots of laughter.

Lea

%d bloggers like this: