Snow Job

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Where’s the snow?

The Blizzard of 2017

Where’s the snow? The weather forecast called for a nasty Nor’easter dumping 8 inches of snow by this afternoon. I’m stocked on milk, toilet paper and bread, which I’m now feeding to the birds. Look, no snow (secretly, thank God, I hate snow!)!

 

Blizzard of ’93

In lieu of the fierce snowstorm we were supposed to get today, I thought I would recount a wicked snowstorm we did get some time ago and the antics we did to cope with it.

Some of you may remember the Blizzard of 1993. It started late on a Friday night and we were well prepared. Warned in advance by meteorologists who got it right, my new husband and I were invited to spend the snowy weekend holed-up at my sister in law’s mobile home with her friends from down the street and a younger cousin. It would be a weekend snow party.

My hubby and I stopped after work and bought snacks and liquid refreshments for the weekend as did the others. We all settled in for movies, games, merriment and to let it snow! And snow it did. I hadn’t seen snow come down like that since, hmmm, without giving my age away, sometime earlier when school was cancelled for a week. All the kids from the neighborhood had a grand ole time sled riding on the streets for days.

Math Whiz

But this one would only last the weekend and as adults we were going to make the best of it in a more adult manner, though we were just barely adults. As the snow piled up, we dug in our heels and enjoyed the warmth of my sister in law’s spacious mobile home and played games, drank margaritas and enjoyed our silliness. My hubby’s younger cousin was there. She was still in high school. She did a few shots of tequila and decided not to do her Trigonometry homework. I sensed it wasn’t her first time drinking. She did shots like a pro, I think she was more experienced than I.  (I did not encourage this delinquency of a minor. I had something to say about it then a barrage of beer cans flew at me.) Anyway her homework was on the counter and after having a margarita and my inhibitions lowered, I found the homework quite easy to do. I was actually solving those problems in my head. I guess my SAT scores were correct, I scored exceptionally high in math and science although I did not do well with trigonometry in high school. So I finished her homework for her because I found it so much fun. Oh, what alcohol can do to a person! It turns a nerd into a super nerd! No wonder I never got invited to parties, I might do your homework instead of making out with you!

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Margarita and math, easy-peasy

Snowed In and Lazy

We woke up Saturday morning to three feet of snow. We were completely snowed in. Our cars were buried, we weren’t going anywhere. You couldn’t tell the difference between the yards and the street. Our plans were, after a hearty breakfast, to dig out the cars and then the guys would watch some sports on TV. The guys decided to skip the digging out of the cars. We couldn’t get them off their butts for anything. The ladies were cleaning up the breakfast dishes after slaving over the stove all morning and we were beginning to get annoyed. We couldn’t think of any way to get the men to move.

Rescued?

Suddenly there was a faint knock on the door. An old man was there asking if someone could shovel his driveway. By then it was late afternoon and the men had already cracked their beers and planted themselves. They said no way. But the old man pitifully asked again. My brother in law, not always tactful, said he would get rid of him. We told him to be kind and gentle. He had a brief quiet conversation with the old man, we were straining to hear what they were talking about.

The old man thanked him and trudged toward his home. My brother in law had a quick caucus with my hubby and the other man. Like Dasher, Dancer and Prancer, they leapt off the couch, put on their snow clothes, all grabbed shovels and dashed away, dashed away, dashed away all the way to the far end of the street!

 

“What changed your minds?” we exclaimed as they ran out of sight up the street and to the old man’s house? They called back, “His roommate has to go to work.” So what? Where could an old person work that anyone could actually get to in all this snow and why would anyone want to go out in it?

They proceeded to shovel the old man’s driveway in no time flat. We looked out the window and noticed they picked up a few more men on the way back and started shoveling the street. Calls for snow blowers were heard by all. Baffling.

We couldn’t take the suspense anymore, the ladies bundled up and went out and demanded to know what this sudden burst of humanity was all about. It turns out the old man’s ROOMMATE is a STRIPPER and she has a stripping gig tonight that she absolutely must get to. Not only that, rumors of free lap dances were rumbling through the man crowd if the men could get her out. They shoveled, by hand all the way from their mobile home to the main road, it had to be more than a mile.

Well we knew when we were beat, we dug out our own cars ourselves as the men returned exhausted but happy that they contributed to society. HA! We came back inside frozen to the bone, covered with snow, but got our cars dug out.  The guys thanked us and said they thought of taking a ride. We knew they were thinking of following the old man and the stripper to the strip club. Not a good idea with three wives holding shovels.  They said they’d settle for us cooking them a hot dinner. Exhausted, freezing and still holding shovels we explained why that wasn’t happening. We did have a compromise.

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Oh no your’re not!

We told them they’d have to give us lap dances for us to cook!

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Come here baby, make mama happy!

We all ate potato chips for dinner!

Thank you friends for reading my post, please follow me by email so I can send you my newsletter, many are following anonymously…you can change that if you wish by clicking on the contact button and filling in your information or by clicking on the “Follow by email” button. I wouldn’t want you to miss anything. As always, I welcome your comments, please comment or like on my blog page, make sure you are logged in to whatever site you are reading me on or if asked, fill in your email and name (I won’t share it). Until next week, I wish you joy, happiness and lots of laughter.

Lea

Weekend Fun Part 2

Hello Friends,

I hope you like Part 2, it’s filled with romantic ideals, unrequited love, I fly (yes I do) and near death experiences……

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Beautiful Sunday Morning Full of Hope

Sunday starts off well.  One of my daughter’s little friends has invited her to her house for a day a fun and swimming.  This is great.  Hubby and I had been planning a romantic dinner together if we could just get a sitter for our daughter.  But, hey a romantic lunch and afternoon is good too.  I’m really looking forward to renewing our love.  I put on something nice, do my hair and polish my toenails.  We drop our daughter off at her friend’s house and proceed to drive toward the mall. I’m wondering which restaurant we are going too, hoping for seafood. My mouth is watering and I’m trying to stifle a little rumbling in my stomach, I am hungry. Ahh, a relaxing lunch, a glass of wine and then home to rekindle our love. It’s a beautiful day.

Screech! Making U Turn…

But hey, wait.  Wrong turn.  We are heading to his parent’s house.  “Why are we going to your mother’s house?” I ask, nervously.  Hubby says in an excited voice, “We’re going to hitch up her trailer to the truck, run out to Home Depot and pick up an auger and some wood.”  What the hell is an auger and how does that fit into my fun filled afternoon?
“Aren’t we going to a restaurant for a romantic lunch, just the two of us”? I ask almost in a panic. “No, where did you get that idea, he snorted in derision”? “When you suggested it yesterday”!! I’m almost in tears. It was just a “suggestion” Hubby DECIDED something more entertaining instead but neglected to tell me.

Sunday Surprise Present

We’re going to use this giant, 200 pound machine to dig holes in the yard.  We’re starting construction on our deck.  What fun.  We pick up the stupid thing and go home.  I change out of my nice clothes, put on my ugliest T-shirt and shorts and help him take this thing off of the trailer. It comes in two pieces, the motor with handles and a giant corkscrew looking thing that weighs 150 pounds.  I guess you can say I got screwed on this date, but I had something more starry-eyed in mind.

We are attempting to pull this thing off the trailer. Hubby directs me to start with the corkscrew. We grab it and slowly lower it to the ground as I wonder if I can get a hernia. I notice a sharp pain forming in my foot. The tip of the corkscrew is sitting on top of my toes. I scream for Hubby to get it off. He’s laughing and said it’s my darn big feet that’s the problem. Finally, we get it to the ground. Then we put the monster thing together and drag it to the first place he wants to dig.  I’m winded already.

I should mention that I’m 5’2” tall and weigh maybe 90 lbs. The math doesn’t add up for this experiment as you will see.

It has a pull cord to start it. Hubby tells me to hold on with one hand and pull the cord. I can’t even start the lawnmower that way, let alone trying to hold a 200 pound machine with one hand and pull a rip cord with the other! I’m already teetering and about to fall over.

It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s Lea Flying….Smack!

I pull the cord to start it, grab the handles on my side and we push it into the ground.  Guess what happens when a 90 pound woman tries to hold on to a spinning 200 pound machine?  That’s right, I spun right around with it.  Good thing the house was there to block me. I slammed right into the side of the house! Ouch.  Let’s try it again he says.  Again, I fly right into the side of the house.  I’m now sweaty, dirty and bruised.  I can’t do anymore.  I beg him to call a big guy that can help him.  Why does he think I can do these things?  Can’t he do the math?  Two hundred pounds of spinning machinery versus 90 pounds of limping sissy just doesn’t add up.

I take it upon myself to get on the phone and call every big guy I know, because Hubby refuses to ask for help.  No one is available.  So I beg and manage to squeeze out a pitiful tear (learned that trick from my daughter).  Finally he calls a friend.  I wonder about his choice and tell him that I think his friend might be a bit, well, old.   It’s about a 90 degree day. In this heat, he may not be able to manage the work.  Ever the optimist, Hubby sticks with his choice.  Fine, I’ll go make the guys some nice iced tea to keep them cool and hydrated.

911!

After about an hour of digging, Hubby and friend are whipped.  I give them the iced tea and they seem to be feeling better.  They start the machine up again then suddenly stop!  Hubby doubles over in pain.  Friend grabs his right arm, it’s gone numb.   Oh my god, they killed themselves!  One with some obscure stomach pain the other with a possible heart attack. Or, is the right arm a stroke? Does it matter at this point? I’m dialing 911.  How do I explain that two men just did themselves in with a giant screwing machine?  Can you imagine the visual?

Hubby gets up off the ground and says he just had a stomach cramp from drinking the tea too fast.  Friend says it’s the left arm that warns of a heart attack.  His right arm goes numb all the time due to an old injury.  They’re fine and get back to work.  I give up and go pick up my daughter.

What a Pretty Picture You Turned Out to Be

I’m still in my dirty old clothes, sweaty and now stinky, my face is dirty and my hair has frizzed into oblivion.  I get to my daughter’s friend’s house, they are having a big party.  They invite me in to meet everyone while my daughter gathers her stuff to come home.  You know, every time you look and smell your worst you run into someone from your past.  Lo and behold, there’s a guy I used to work with ten years ago.  I say it’s good to see you again.  He says, do I know you?  Then after staring at my dirty face and frizzy hair (and by the way not a trace of make-up left) he figures out who I am.  He gives one of those I didn’t recognize you speeches which really means wow, you look like crap, you didn’t age too well.  What a perfect ending to a perfect weekend.

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And I thought I was going to have lobster and passion!

Thank you for reading Weekend Fun Part 2, I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave your comments, I love to read them. If you are a follower please click on the contact button and fill in the blanks so I have your emails to send you my newsletter. Don’t worry your information is not shared. Thanks again for following I’ll have another great post for you soon!

Until then, I wish you love, joy and laughter!

Lea

Weekend Fun, Part 1

Source: Weekend Fun, Part 1

Here’s a a chance to catch up on last week’s post to bring you up to date before I publish Part 2 in a few hours.  I know you are looking forward to part two, it’s filled with romantic fantasies, unrequited love, dangerous undertakings, I fly through the air (yes I do!), near death experiences and more!

Part one is a must-read! Loaded with adventure, mishap, terror, murder and a cliffhanger ending! You’ll be on the edge of your seat!

Weekend Fun, Part 1

This is a must read that will keep you at the edge of your seat! There’s adventure, mishaps, terror, murder and a cliffhanger ending. Mwha, ha, ha ! Enjoy Weekend Fun Part 1!

Source: Weekend Fun, Part 1

Weekend Fun, Part 1

Always looking forward to that relaxing weekend!8501951407_b64720e986_z

Here’s a a chance to catch up on last week’s post to bring you up to date before I publish Part 2 in a few hours.  I know you are looking forward to part two, it’s filled with romantic fantasies, unrequited love, dangerous undertakings, I fly through the air (yes I do!), near death experiences and more!

Part one is a must-read! Loaded with adventure, mishap, terror, murder and a cliffhanger ending! You’ll be on the edge of your seat!

Let the Air Out of the Sleepover

My weekend fun started Friday morning when I went to pour a bowl of cereal and discovered that the milk was sour. So my daughter and I set out for Giant Eagle to get milk and snacks for her last-minute slumber party request. Halfway to the store my tire blows out. I’m riding down the road wondering what that awful noise is that I’m hearing. I’m looking out the window to see if it is a low flying airplane or something. I never heard that noise before.  Now the guy behind me is beeping frantically. It dawns on me that I have a flat tire.

I look around and there is NO place to pull over. Why is everyone parked in the street today? I wobble in to the Giant Eagle parking lot on three wheels wondering who I can call. Aha, my husband signed up with AAA two weeks ago when our car broke down in the middle of a busy road. Yes! So, I proceed to call AAA.

They asked all kinds of questions like what’s the make, model and year of the car. Yeah right, like I’d know that. I was able to tell them the color though. Then they asked if I had a spare tire. I’m sure I did, but couldn’t find it. Do you know that the spare tire was bolted up underneath the car? Like that was intuitive! Gee whiz. If I knew all of that stuff I probably could have changed the tire myself.

I was told that someone would be there to help me “within the hour”. Well, they did come in about 15 minutes but since my daughter was asking every five seconds if they were here yet, it seemed like an hour. Finally, we got the tire changed, bought the milk and $30 worth of snacks for the slumber party and went home. When we got there, all of the kids she invited left messages that they couldn’t come. Boy was my daughter a barrel of laughs the rest of the day. I felt so bad for her. No matter what I did, I couldn’t cheer her up. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

Lea and the Serpent

It’s Saturday morning and it has to be better right? My daughter, bored out of her mind since Friday night because none of her friends show up, calls my parents and invites them over for Saturday morning…and, they accept! Great or it would be but, shopping day isn’t until Monday and I haven’t got a thing in the house, except sleepover candy. Especially, I don’t have beer. My dad likes to have two beers in a frosted mug when he comes over. I’m not sure if it’s to tune out my mother, the drive or me. So, anyway, since I had the flat tire yesterday, my husband decides that he’s going to take the truck out to have the tire replaced and since he’s there, get it inspected. I know he’s thinking this will keep him out of the house long enough to miss my parents.

I get to entertain them myself. It actually didn’t go too bad. We sat and talked a bit, they played with my daughter a bit and then decided to go home. Their whole visit was probably just an hour, too short. But at least we had a nice visit.  As they pulled out of the driveway I noticed that my closest neighbors also were leaving their house. You would think that would be insignificant, but wait, there’s more.

Five minutes after everyone leaves the mountain, the dog starts barking. He is barking constantly and I could hear from inside the house that he was standing in one spot barking. That could only mean one thing. He’s got a poor defenseless little bunny cornered. So I go out to try to get the rabbit to run away and get the beast back inside. I step around the corner of the house and find the dog and the poor defenseless creature that he’s got trapped. Now, here’s the fun part. It’s not a cute fuzzy little bunny, he is barking at a giant snake!!! It has to be six feet long. It had funny markings on it so I wasn’t sure if it was poisonous or not, better kill it to be on the safe side. Obviously, I was afraid of the snake and not thinking clearly.

Remember that my neighbors just left, my parents left and my husband is still out with the truck. There is no one to help me. I have to take care of this myself.

The last time that snake was in the yard, my husband was conveniently at work and I was left to deal with it alone. I called him and he told me to just chop the thing’s head off with the shovel. But, by the time I found the shovel it had gotten away. Now it’s baaaaack! Remembering that sound advice, I gathered up every last ounce of courage I had and grabbed the shovel. I kept telling myself that I have to do this to protect my child, who would not come out of the house now with a giant snake out there.

I can do it, I can do it, I can do it. I get to what I think is a safe distance from the giant man-eating serpent, but still within reaching distance. I slowly raise the shovel over my head and Wham! I hit the damn thing on the head and pissed it off.

It coiled then lunged at me, snapping and biting the air. I jump back, scream like a sissy and do the eeeeww, yucky dance. But, I can’t be defeated, my poor daughter can’t come out of the house to play until this monster snake is destroyed. I raise the shovel again, what a glutton for punishment. I swing and hit the snake again. I’m sure this is the deathblow.

Wrong. Now I’ve got a giant snake with attitude and a headache. It coils, lunges and tries to bite me again. I drop the shovel, scream like a sissy and run like hell. The dog is still barking. He won’t leave his post until this snake is gone. I can’t let the dog stand out here and bark like an idiot all day, he’s showing signs of distress. I’m afraid the snake will bite him.

Knight on a Shining John Deere

Just then, I see my other neighbor riding down the hill on his tractor. What a godsend. He’s a big guy, he likes to hunt. He should have no problem killing this snake. I wave frantically at him yelling help. He looks up, gives me a hello wave and goes about his tractor ride. He thinks I’m just trying to be friendly. I call his house to see if his wife can flag him down and get him to help me. Finally, help is on the way. He rides his tractor up my driveway, steps out and nonchalantly takes out a giant machete. He walks right over to the snake, pushes the dog out-of-the-way and whacks the snake’s head off in one chop, my hero. I ignore the blood the spewed all over the side of my house! Whew, what a relief.  But, just when you think it’s safe…

Did you know that when you chop off a snake’s head the head still tries to bite you while the body still slithers a bit?  I didn’t. Just like something out of a horror movie, the snake head is lunging AT ME (it knows I was behind this contract hit) and biting and moving across the grass as it’s doing it.  I scream, “It’s alive! You didn’t kill it enough! It’s come back to life and is after me”.  You think I screamed like a sissy before?  You should have seen the show I put on now.  My hero says, “Don’t worry”, as he stifles a snicker. Actually he laughs out loud!  “It will eventually die.”  He failed to define “eventually”. “Well that’s not soon enough for me”, I whine.

To appease me, he kicks the snake head into the woods so I don’t have to see it anymore, then picks up the rest of the body, hold it up in the air and says, “Say this IS a big one.”  I thought it was about six feet long.  It’s about 12 feet long.  He swings it around in the air like a lasso and throws it in the woods.  It’s only 11:00 AM and I’m ready to call it a day. Maybe Sunday will be better. HA HA HA HA HA! Yeah, right.

Come back next week to read about the rest of my weekend! It’s filled with romance, unrequited love, dangerous undertakings, I fly through the air (yes I do!), near death experiences and more!

Thank you for reading my post, remember to comment, follow me and leave your contact information. If you need instructions, read my post Comments and Contacts.  When I get enough readers I will be sending out a quarterly newsletter with lots of interesting articles and posts.

Until next week wishing you lots of joy, happiness and laughter!

Lea

Comments and Contacts

Hi Friends,

Thank you for reading my posts, I hope you are enjoying them. Some of you have told me you have left me comments. Unfortunately they didn’t come through. I did a little tech research to find out why (but I wasn’t able to retrieve any past comments, sorry).

In order for your comments to come through, you have to be logged in to either Facebook, Twitter or WordPress. Then you can leave your comment in the reply box then hit the reply button.

If you are not logged into anything and go directly to my website, you should be asked to provide your email and name and will be presented with a comment box. You must fill in your email and your name (or “anonymous”) if you’re shy. Only I can see your email and name, it won’t appear on the website.

The same is true of the Contacts section in the menu.

I hope this helps and I will soon be reading your thoughts and comments soon.

Have a great day!

Regards,

Lea

I Could Have Had A Massage

We got off to a slow start that mid-winter Saturday morning. We were just about to get in the car at 8 am to make the trip to a water park that boasts constant 80 degree inside temperatures. I was looking forward to this little bit of tropical respite when my six year old daughter suddenly announced that her ear hurt. When I touched it she screamed so I figured it was an ear infection. My husband in his infinite wisdom, said we’ll swing by her doctors’ office and have them see her. Yeah, right. You can’t get into that place without an appointment, I’ve tried. But he refused to hear that. He just walked right in and said see her…and they did!

Now, I had tried that and had been thrown out on my ear, excuse the pun. Of course she did have an ear infection. They wrote her out a prescription and we had to come all the way back to home to get it filled. Then we set off again at 10: 15 am. Which wasn’t so bad because you can’t check into the hotel until 4pm. I was a little apprehensive, should we be letting her swim with an ear infection? I was overruled. I was worried about my little girl, but off we went.

So upon arrival around 2:00 we had to unpack the kids’ suits and towels and leave everything else in the car since we couldn’t check in yet.  I took the girls into the locker room to change them…crowded and miserable. It was almost impossible to find a changing room. We stood six deep waiting for one. Finally, I gather up all the stuff (of course I have to carry everything) and we head out to the indoor water park which remember boasts a constant 80 degree temperature. My A**. It was cold as Hell, if Hell were cold. But on we trudged into the water hell, I mean waterpark. I was willing to stick it out so my daughter and her friend could have fun.

My daughter liked the little kids pool and kids Jacuzzi, her friend liked the big yellow slide and my husband wanted to ride the Big Kahuna slide all day. My daughter wouldn’t go on any of the slides this year because she bumped her head on one last year.  So, all she wanted was the small pools. My husband kept coming over to me saying “Big Kahuna, Big Kahuna!” in my face. He looked like a wet ape, if I had a banana I would have given it to him!

I couldn’t go on the big slide because the line was an hour long. I didn’t want to leave my daughter and her friend unattended that long. So I just ran back and forth from the yellow slide and the kiddy pool and watched them play while my poor husband waited in line and rode the slides by himself. The floors were wet and my feet got cold and pruned. I did manage to take a dip in the adult Jacuzzi, hoping for hot water to flow over my freezing body, it was lukewarm and filled with men wearing Speedo’s who shouldn’t be wearing Speedo’s. Ick.

Finally, 4 o’clock comes around, woohooo! We can check into our room and shower, change and go to dinner. We haul all of our crap to the desk. My husband checks in while I put the girls in charge of watching the stuff because my husband asked me to unload the car. I have to make 5 trips up two flights of stairs in flip flops because there is no elevator. My feet are freezing. My husband can’t do it because all of his clothes are still in the car (dumb excuse since all of my clothes are in the car too). I’m beginning to feel like I’m getting the short end of the stick on this trip, ya think?

I bring in the kids stuff first so they can change. My daughter gets dressed in the closet while her friend gets dressed in the bathroom. Unfortunately, her friend throws her soaking wet bathing suit in her suitcase on top of all of her clean dry clothes. Now they are soaked. I’m trying to blow dry her clothes so we can go to dinner. As I’m doing this both girls fall asleep. I take the opportunity to take a hot shower and get dressed.

It’s time for dinner. I can’t get my daughter’s friend to wake up. She’s in no mood to wake up and go eat, no mood at all! She reminded me of my college roommate who made it my job to get her up for class in the morning. I would hold the alarm clock next to her ear and she wouldn’t budge. I would take all the covers off the bed, nothing. I tried to pull her out of bed, but she was six feet tall to my five feet two inches, that didn’t work. I had to go to class so after this morning ritual I would go to class only to come back to get yelled at. After explaining the lengths I went to just to wake her up I refused to do the job anymore.

But back to the waterpark. I make my husband wake her up. Finally, we meet up with my husband’s friends for dinner. A surprise for me. The wait at Applebee’s in an hour so everyone (12 of us all together, another surprise) decided to go to Quaker Steak and Lube. The wait is also an hour but we decide to stay. They guys found some empty seats at the bar and sat down and ordered beers for THEMSELVES! The wives, of course, had to chase the kids around the restaurant and listen to the “I’m hungry” whining.

Finally we get seated, my daughter is tired, hungry and miserable. She ordered chicken fingers and NO fries!!! Quaker Steak calls them chicken FENDERS which totally irks my daughter. She wants FINGERS not FENDERS and there better not be one damn fry on the dish. My husband said that he would take her fries but my daughter insisted on not having any fries and starts to cry loudly. My husband’s friend tried to make a joke to get her to laugh–never a good idea. She cries louder, I’m holding her and rocking her while the rest of the patrons stare and wonder what I did to make her cry. Another embarrassing Mom moment.

When it’s my turn to order, I ask for a large glass of wine and a tranquilizer dart. I thought it was funny so did the server, observing our table. For some reason, that pisses my husband off to no end. His eyes shoot daggers at me, I’m going to get an ear beating, as if I haven’t been tested enough today. I’m thinking now that I should use the dart on him.

We make it back to the hotel room and put the kids to bed. However they are now wide awake and want to go swimming in the hotel pool. My husband promises my daughter that she can sit in the hot tub and she’s really looking forward to it. This is where reading the brochure (like reading instructions or asking for directions that no man would dare to do) would have come in handy! I decide to stay in the room and read a book and drink a glass of wine. I had a whole 5 minutes before my husband and my daughter come back. You have to be 16 to go in the hot tub. Another disappointment, more tears. Ok, they are finally asleep. We get to do this all over again tomorrow.

Sunday morning, I try to get all of the kids’ suits and clothes ready because we have to check out before going to water hell again. Her friend’s clothes to wear home are soaking wet because she put her suit on them again! So, I said I would stay behind and blow dry them then meet them at the water park. I can’t find any shoes. Here, my husband left the shoe bag behind when he checked in yesterday. I’m freaking, we have no shoes to wear home. I just bought a new pair of sneakers and only wore them once. Now I have to buy new ones not only for me but for everyone else. Like I have that kind of money!! Is there any wine left in the bottle, I need a drink! My husband goes to the front desk and asks if anyone turned in a bag of shoes, thank God they did. Everything is in order now. I check out of the room, pack the car, take clothes and towels and meet them in the park. Why am I doing all the work again? Thank God we’re nearing the end of our fun-filled trip.

After a few hours, I take the girls into the locker rooms to change. I find an empty changing stall and change my daughter, then send her friend in to change. I was just about to go in and change myself when some old bitty decided she was going to run in before me. Of course I’ve had enough at this point. I told her that I just spent two days soaking wet in a water hell, chased these two girls and one big boy around, and taking care of their every need while I put my own comfort aside. I am cold, wet and now have a black fungus under my toenails from constantly being wet and it’s my turn to change and if she thinks that she can take my stall I’d be willing to fight her to the death over it. I heard her mumble something that sounded like “crazy bitch” as I changed into my nice warm sweat suit and headed toward the door.

As I was making tracks to the door, I ran into my cousin, her husband and two kids. We had a brief reunion and I told her I hoped she had a good time. She said of course, she’s putting her husband in charge of the kids and heading to the spa/bar for a mother’s relaxation package with massage and mimosas. WHAT? That was available? I could have had a massage. I got toe fungus.

How was your week? Did you take any mini mid-winter vacations? Tell me about them.

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Until next week, wishing you Joy, Happiness and Laughter!iker-urteaga-131531

Lea

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