I hope you like Part 2, it’s filled with romantic ideals, unrequited love, I fly (yes I do) and near death experiences……
Beautiful Sunday Morning Full of Hope
Sunday starts off well. One of my daughter’s little friends has invited her to her house for a day a fun and swimming. This is great. Hubby and I had been planning a romantic dinner together if we could just get a sitter for our daughter. But, hey a romantic lunch and afternoon is good too. I’m really looking forward to renewing our love. I put on something nice, do my hair and polish my toenails. We drop our daughter off at her friend’s house and proceed to drive toward the mall. I’m wondering which restaurant we are going too, hoping for seafood. My mouth is watering and I’m trying to stifle a little rumbling in my stomach, I am hungry. Ahh, a relaxing lunch, a glass of wine and then home to rekindle our love. It’s a beautiful day.
Screech! Making U Turn…
But hey, wait. Wrong turn. We are heading to his parent’s house. “Why are we going to your mother’s house?” I ask, nervously. Hubby says in an excited voice, “We’re going to hitch up her trailer to the truck, run out to Home Depot and pick up an auger and some wood.” What the hell is an auger and how does that fit into my fun filled afternoon?
“Aren’t we going to a restaurant for a romantic lunch, just the two of us”? I ask almost in a panic. “No, where did you get that idea, he snorted in derision”? “When you suggested it yesterday”!! I’m almost in tears. It was just a “suggestion” Hubby DECIDED something more entertaining instead but neglected to tell me.
Sunday Surprise Present
We’re going to use this giant, 200 pound machine to dig holes in the yard. We’re starting construction on our deck. What fun. We pick up the stupid thing and go home. I change out of my nice clothes, put on my ugliest T-shirt and shorts and help him take this thing off of the trailer. It comes in two pieces, the motor with handles and a giant corkscrew looking thing that weighs 150 pounds. I guess you can say I got screwed on this date, but I had something more starry-eyed in mind.
We are attempting to pull this thing off the trailer. Hubby directs me to start with the corkscrew. We grab it and slowly lower it to the ground as I wonder if I can get a hernia. I notice a sharp pain forming in my foot. The tip of the corkscrew is sitting on top of my toes. I scream for Hubby to get it off. He’s laughing and said it’s my darn big feet that’s the problem. Finally, we get it to the ground. Then we put the monster thing together and drag it to the first place he wants to dig. I’m winded already.
I should mention that I’m 5’2” tall and weigh maybe 90 lbs. The math doesn’t add up for this experiment as you will see.
It has a pull cord to start it. Hubby tells me to hold on with one hand and pull the cord. I can’t even start the lawnmower that way, let alone trying to hold a 200 pound machine with one hand and pull a rip cord with the other! I’m already teetering and about to fall over.
It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s Lea Flying….Smack!
I pull the cord to start it, grab the handles on my side and we push it into the ground. Guess what happens when a 90 pound woman tries to hold on to a spinning 200 pound machine? That’s right, I spun right around with it. Good thing the house was there to block me. I slammed right into the side of the house! Ouch. Let’s try it again he says. Again, I fly right into the side of the house. I’m now sweaty, dirty and bruised. I can’t do anymore. I beg him to call a big guy that can help him. Why does he think I can do these things? Can’t he do the math? Two hundred pounds of spinning machinery versus 90 pounds of limping sissy just doesn’t add up.
I take it upon myself to get on the phone and call every big guy I know, because Hubby refuses to ask for help. No one is available. So I beg and manage to squeeze out a pitiful tear (learned that trick from my daughter). Finally he calls a friend. I wonder about his choice and tell him that I think his friend might be a bit, well, old. It’s about a 90 degree day. In this heat, he may not be able to manage the work. Ever the optimist, Hubby sticks with his choice. Fine, I’ll go make the guys some nice iced tea to keep them cool and hydrated.
After about an hour of digging, Hubby and friend are whipped. I give them the iced tea and they seem to be feeling better. They start the machine up again then suddenly stop! Hubby doubles over in pain. Friend grabs his right arm, it’s gone numb. Oh my god, they killed themselves! One with some obscure stomach pain the other with a possible heart attack. Or, is the right arm a stroke? Does it matter at this point? I’m dialing 911. How do I explain that two men just did themselves in with a giant screwing machine? Can you imagine the visual?
Hubby gets up off the ground and says he just had a stomach cramp from drinking the tea too fast. Friend says it’s the left arm that warns of a heart attack. His right arm goes numb all the time due to an old injury. They’re fine and get back to work. I give up and go pick up my daughter.
What a Pretty Picture You Turned Out to Be
I’m still in my dirty old clothes, sweaty and now stinky, my face is dirty and my hair has frizzed into oblivion. I get to my daughter’s friend’s house, they are having a big party. They invite me in to meet everyone while my daughter gathers her stuff to come home. You know, every time you look and smell your worst you run into someone from your past. Lo and behold, there’s a guy I used to work with ten years ago. I say it’s good to see you again. He says, do I know you? Then after staring at my dirty face and frizzy hair (and by the way not a trace of make-up left) he figures out who I am. He gives one of those I didn’t recognize you speeches which really means wow, you look like crap, you didn’t age too well. What a perfect ending to a perfect weekend.
And I thought I was going to have lobster and passion!
Thank you for reading Weekend Fun Part 2, I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave your comments, I love to read them. If you are a follower please click on the contact button and fill in the blanks so I have your emails to send you my newsletter. Don’t worry your information is not shared. Thanks again for following I’ll have another great post for you soon!
Until then, I wish you love, joy and laughter!